Q. How does a chicken cross the road?
Novell Chicken - crossed the road carrying all the other chickens.
Gets no credit for the service because it forget to tell anybody.

NT Chicken - will cross the road in June .... no, August ......
well OK, September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken - it crossed the road in style years ago but was so
quiet, nobody noticed
.
Win95 Chicken - you see different coloured feathers while it
crosses - but cook it and still tastes like ...... chicken!

Microsoft chicken - It's already on both sides of the road and it
just bought the road!

Assembler chicken - first it builds the road ...

C chicken - it crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ chicken - the chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd
simply refer him to the other side.

Delphi chicken - the chicken is dragged across the road and dropped
on the other side.

Java chicken - if your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the
server will download one to the other side. (These are, of course,
'chicklets'). Web chicken - jumps out on to the road, turns right
and just keeps on running.

Gopher chicken - tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton chicken - can't cluck, can't fly and can't lay eggs but you
can carry it across the road in your pocket.

Quantum Logic chicken - the chicken is distributed probablistically
on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your
choice.

Lotus chicken - don't you dare try to cross the road the same way
that we do!

COBOL chicken - 0001 - CHICKEN-CROSSING
IF-NO-MORE-VEHICLES-THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.

UNIX chicken - the command to make the chicken cross the road is too
complex to understand and way too ugly to execute.